~Looking For Her Gift~

I got another gift for Christmas
At least I thought I did
Something came out of the box
Just when I popped the lid

Now I don't know what it was
From where or whom was sent
I can't find that dog-gone thing
Don't know just where it went

I've looked through all the boxes
And wrappings on the floor
I'll take a break and think a bit
And then I'll look some more

What if I should never find out
How can I ever know
Just what it is I think I lost
And where did that thing go?

Oooeee! got another problem now
A bird flying through my house
I'm as frightened of a bird you know
As most are scared of a mouse

Now I'm hiding from that Vulture
Got 911 on the way
I hope I don't have a heart attack
Right here on Christmas Day

Now the phone is ringing
It's JR on the line
I yelled 'HELP and HURRY
And don't you waste no time!'

Pretty quickly they arrived
911 and JR too
Right away they all saw
They had work to do

Help me out, calm me down
And be sure I ain't dying
Then grab a net and catch that bird
Going through my house a'flying

JR said you guys can go
I'll take care of the problem now
The cop didn't like his attitude
They disagreed somehow

JR didn't want to part with that bird
The cop insisted he would
I don't remember all that was said
Would tell you if I could

Seems the officer wanted to know
Who did that thing belong to
Right away I said, 'Ain't mine'
'Take it!, it can belong to you'

JR up and said, 'No way'
'That bird ain't going nowhere
He is the rarest talking bird on earth
And you just leave him there'

After another argument
They decided what to do
The cop put that bird in a net
And said, 'take him home with you'

JR still says he paid for that bird
And made the cop think so
But how on earth did it get in my house?
I guess I'll never know

You said it's a what!?
And sent from whom to who?
I think you're making that up my son
'Cause your acting a little Coo Coo'

This is another Christmas
That I won't soon forget
I still don't know what I'm looking for
But I know I ain't found it yet.

Yolanda Cohen and Betty Hill 2005

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