When I was a young
turkey, new to the
coop,
My big brother
Mike took me out
on the stoop.
Then he sat me
down, and he spoke
real slow,
And he told me
there was
something that I
should know!
His look and his
tone I will always
remember,
When he told me of
the horrors of
.."Black November"
Come about August,
now listen to me,
Each day you'll
get six meals
instead of three.
And soon you'll be
thick, where once
you were thin,
And you'll grow a
big rubbery thing
under your chin.
And then one
morning, when
you're warm in
your bed,
In will burst the
farmer's wife, and
hack off your
head!
Then she'll pluck
out all of your
feathers so you're
bald and pink,
And scoop out all
your insides and
leave ya' lyin' in
the sink.
Well, the rest of
his words were too
grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop
like a winged
piece of meat.
I decided on the
spot that to avoid
being cooked,
I'd have to lay
low and remain
overlooked.
I began a new diet
of nuts and
granola,
High roughage
salads, juice and
diet cola.
And as they ate
pastries,
chocolates and
crepes,
I stayed in my
room doing Jane
Fonda tapes!
I maintained my
weight of two
pounds and a half,
And tried not to
notice, when
bigger birds
laughed.
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|
Ha...Ha...Ha...!
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|
But 'twas I who
was laughing under
my breath,
As they chomped
and chewed, ever
closer to death.
And sure enough
when Black
November rolled
around,
I was the last
turkey left in the
entire compound.
So now I'm a pet
in the farmer's
wife's lap,
I haven't a worry,
so I eat and I
nap!
She held me today,
while sewing and
humming,
And smiled and
said...
You know Christmas
is coming !!!
~Author Unknown~
